Why am i not dating anyone

18-Oct-2019 13:06

It’s important to emphasize that no one can say my singlehood is because I haven’t put myself “out there.” I’ve been on online dating sites and apps for 11 years — and only first dates with three men to show for it.

All the while, I’ve also been attending countless events, parties, gatherings, etc. As I try to break down the different factors that might contribute to my near-lifelong involuntary singlehood, the first thing that comes to mind is looks.

I started doing a little more research on the app and my excitement grew.

Their You Tube video (with a whopping 447 views) is titled “The Grade, A Female-Empowered Dating App! ) and their About Us language sounded great:“The Grade holds users accountable for their behavior by using a proprietary algorithm that assigns letter grades to users ranging from ‘A ’ to ‘F’ based profile quality, responsiveness, and peer-reviews generated from the opinions received from other users. Swipe stress-free without worry of unrequited communication, hostile messaging and inappropriate photos.”Since I was still waiting for my first match from my matchmaker for this series, The Dating Ring’s COO Emma Tessler, I figured that this improved version of Tinder wouldn’t hurt to try out.

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I’ve witnessed the ebb and flow of many people’s dating lives while mine remains . My internal dialogue often goes through this loop: Am I not attractive? What can I do to be me while also being deemed attractive enough to have someone want to just give me a at a date?

This piece is Wagatwe Wanjuki’s first dispatch from the front lines of her romantic life for the #Its Totally Me dating series, which follows Establishment writers Wanjuki and Katie Klabusich as they utilize professional matchmakers and the insights of various experts to get to the bottom of their perpetual singledom. So the response to the inaugural #Its Totally Me post has been overwhelming — but definitely positive!

It was great to see comments from people who said that they could relate to being chronically and involuntarily single and feeling alone.

If only my experience with the app left me with the same enthusiasm as that video title exhibited.

The Grade’s PR focuses on the app being some sort of safe haven for women — a Tinder with a filter. But grades aren’t just based on whether you send dick pics or are secretly married.

So when I had a chance to do one of my favorite things a few days after downloading the app — put on makeup, dress up, and attend a gala with food and an open bar — I couldn’t do it. I was really looking forward to attending the gala — I even rented two dresses in preparation. This gap between my thoughts about myself and reality could explain why — even at my most self-assured — I fail to attract potential mates.