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If you’re going to complain, you haven’t accepted the truth that being in this arrangement is going to be filled with ups and downs, much more so than any other type of relationship you might ever experience in life.
David Essel is a number one best-selling author, counsellor, master life coach, and international speaker whose mission is to positively affect 1 million people or more every day, regardless of their current circumstances.
According to the experts, here’s what you should do. The odds of moving forward into a healthy committed relationship with a potential even of marriage is really tiny. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen, it just means the odds are not in your favo Ur.
There are many factors that can affect these triangulated relationships, and how they are combined can affect the outcome in different ways.
You can make it a friends with benefits type of arrangement, were you both have the comfort of each other without any commitment whatsoever if that’s what you choose to do.
Or you can jump to the ultimatum, and see if they’re serious about following through with the words and actually ending their marriage that they’ve been separated from in the past. If you’re going to date someone who is still legally married, don’t be surprised when there’s constant chaos and drama in your relationship with this person.
After meeting on an exclusive dating site, he started to “love bomb her” by sending flowers on a regular basis to her home and to her office.
He brought her to exciting concerts, wonderful trips, sent her amazing love notes via text and email on a daily basis. And for six months thought for sure she had found the man of her dreams. And hers was shattered when she found out the truth, that he was still married, contemplating divorce, and she couldn’t break away. All of this says the following statement quite clearly: both people are emotionally unavailable, which makes them a perfect match for each other.
In this agreement, I encourage all my clients to also put an ultimatum, that the person they’re dating goes into counseling once a week for the next 52 weeks. Because you want to make sure this person is exploring the reasons for their divorce, the reasons that they are still legally married, the reasons why they haven’t pulled the trigger and make the divorce final.