Real life dating basics
Do you often find yourself justifying behaviors towards your spouse that you would be embarrassed to use with your friends?In their actions, at least, struggling couples often lose track of the very basics of what makes a good relationship. Repairing your relationship after those mistakes is critical to its health.As you focus on all that your partner is doing wrong, your own behavior also deteriorates. There is a respectful way to say everything, as well as a respectful time to say it. Actively seek ways to repair hurts with your partner, such as aplogizing, or listening to your parnter's concerns.If you are angry at your partner, for example, you might “excuse” your own rude behavior or even verbal or physical abuse (“She just made me so mad! Always be willing to accept repair behaviors from your partner. Find respectful ways to air all of this (I am not an advocate of “honesty at all costs”!I’ve been happily married nearly nineteen years and, obviously, that’s the romantic relationship that I know the best. Relationships are really not rocket science, especially if you believe that God made us to be relational people. And, if I may humbly say, I also think that it has been a healthy and wholesome relationship since the day that we met. I paid for both the dates so that there would be no confusion that these were dates. Our times together had been sufficient enough and our conversations significant enough for us to say this to one another. If you see a guy or girl that you think is attractive, introduce yourself. ”) The reality is, there are some basic, bottom-line behaviors that are simply “must haves” in good relationships. Accepting your partner’s apology isn’t the same way as condoning what he did. Be willing to hold hands or touch your partner even if you aren’t willing to have intercourse at the moment. Don’t cause your partner unnecessary pain by “just being honest” when you are also angry! Be honest with your partner and openly accept that your partner has the right to his opinion, even if you don’t like it much.The basics of strong relationships are not “relative” to what your partner is doing, but “absolute.” Either you are behaving in a way that makes you a good partner or you are not. It simply says “I care about you enough to work through this.”Hold: Almost all relationships need some sort of touch and intimacy to thrive. And if you are having trouble with agreeing about the course of your sex life (for example, whether or not there should be any sex) seek professional help. This acceptance - that your partner has a right to his or her opinions - and the willingness to talk and negotiate rather than argue or dictate, is what makes a relationship “safe.”Appreciate.
This is how things happened: August ’92– We were introduced to one another in a hallway at college. I knew that she would love them and I wanted her to know that I liked her a lot. We spent a day together where she introduced me to some of her friends from outside our college.
You – and only you – are responsible for making sure you are the best person you can be. Take every opportunity to appreciate your partner and the positives in your life.