Introverted men and dating children dating during divorce
For me, talking to boys online was like walking into the cafeteria at peak lunch hour with the confidence that I would have a place to sit, and what’s more, a few people who actually wanted to sit next to me.Even as an adult with my own computer, I was still introverted, still awkward with my hands, still funny only to my friends.I didn’t know what to do with my hands when I talked to people.I couldn’t speak loud enough for people to hear me and any time the attention was on me, I did whatever I could to deter it.As it turned out, middle school boys were not charmed by my uncanny Christopher Walken impersonations. I knew there was some semblance of a calm, authentic person inside of me, but it would be years before I would find her.And in that time, I would evolve into a young woman whose first kiss was a combination of a semicolon and an asterisk and whose first boyfriend lived in a rectangle on the family computer.But once I started to match with people, I was brought back to that very same feeling of freedom that I first felt in AOL chat rooms. Every serious relationship I’ve had in my life came from a combination of swipes and red bubbled messages.It’s not lost on me what an integral part the app has played in my life.
So, online became a special place for me to steal characters’ identities from Mary Kate and Ashley movies and use them to affirm some level of existence, at least as it pertained to boys.But no matter how good I felt about myself, I couldn’t find that person on a date. Why would he want to break this perfect safe bubble? Going to meet someone who already had a sense of my personality as I saw it in private was my secret weapon.