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Knowing and developing your character (your virtues), resolving issues from your past, building your relationship knowledge and skills, and knowing what is important to you in a marriage and in a spouse are all important.You are then empowered to be effective in a relationship.
“In the context of the society in which your family now lives, a society in which materialism, self-centeredness and failing marriages are all too common, your sons may well feel that it is wise to have a long period of courtship in which the prospective partners spend much time together and become thoroughly acquainted with each other’s character, background and family.
If you see only the good and it is very tiny, and the person has significant character weaknesses, will you be able to successfully establish a happy, harmonious marriage that is of service to others?
Might you instead be mired in internal conflict and problems?
It is also wise to consider how important particular character qualities are for you to have in a spouse.
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Truthfulness and faithfulness are likely to be vital qualities to see as strengths in the person.However, we hasten to point out to you that the situation which you describe, in which your sons wish their friends to be involved with your family, is much more in line with the Teachings than the common pattern in Western countries in which many youth virtually exclude their parents from interacting with their peers, sometimes distancing themselves from their families in order to have the freedom to engage in frivolous and even unchaste behavior….” “Bahá’í marriage is the commitment of the two parties one to the other, and their mutual attachment of mind and heart.
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